Social Niceties II: Permission & Apologies

This is the second in a series concerning the language of social conventions in Koa, beginning here.

4. Permission

The most basic and common word for "please" is nóia, from the root noi "ask for." In this and many other common expressions, note that no pronoun is present, though 1st singular is assumed. One could also say ninóia, but in that case the sense would be less the conventionalized "please," and more literally "I politely request that." Two other ways of asking for permission:

ai saa? "may I?" (response: saa)
ai ika? "is it okay?"

When speaking of entering another person's space, we have some specific expressions:

ai loa? "may I come in?" lit. "am I welcome?"
loa "yes, welcome, come in"
kono "I invite you, I accept"

The last, kono is rather formal, and could also appear as kónoa: something like "do please come in." Loa can also be used instead of hei as an all-purpose greeting when spoken by a host or occupier of an area to which others are arriving.

Incidentally, after receiving something or being granted permission, useful phrases are

kito(a) "thank you" = lit. "grateful" (pe X "for X")
auli(a) "you're welcome" = "willing, eager"

Moving forward, polite forms will be indicated with (a) or (ha) in parentheses as above; note that with this additional final syllable, such words will require a written accent to keep the stress in the right place: kito but kítoa.

5. Responses to Questions & Requests

Koa has an array of nuanced ways to say "yes" and "no," which are detailed at some length in this post. Here are some other ways to qualify a response beyond ia "yes" and na "no."

ia sai / na hetu "yes absolutely / not at all"
kia / kia na "definitely / definitely not"
tetai / tetai na "maybe / maybe not"
kae / kae na "probably / probably not"
(ni)nailo "I don't know"
(ni)nakoma "I don't understand"

6. Pardon and forgiveness

For situations of slight inconvenience or light contravention of social expectations, the most neutral way of saying "pardon me" is aisa (originally derived, as may be evident, from ai saa? "may I?"). The usual responses would be saa "feel free, go ahead" lit. "receive" or uha/pilo "it's nothing" (see below). Other more specific phrases for seeking pardon:

ana(ha) "pardon me" lit. "give," with the intention to take an action (or an object) intersecting with another person
kulu(a) "pardon me" lit. "listen," with the intention to speak to or interrupt someone

Koa also has some common affective interjections for these situations. Ie "just," usually lengthened to iee or even ieeee, can be used as a less formal alternative to aisa or any of the other lexical options to excuse oneself. Ui "oops" and ii "yikes" are sometimes appropriate, or can be combined with ie for added shadings: uiee "oh no, so sorry (with regret)"; iiee "oh dear, I'm sorry (embarrassment, nervousness)."

When the offense is more serious, the expression is tua(ha) "(I) apologize." Some possible responses are:

(vi)uha "it's okay," lit. "be free of responsibility"
(vi)pilo "no worries, it's nothing" = lit. "hold it as unimportant"
naviholi "don't worry"
cati "I forgive you"

Cati is considerably more formal or serious than the other expressions. Note that the optional vi- in some of these is an imperative marker.

On the other hand, if the desire is to communicate sympathy or commiseration rather than personal contrition, the expression for "I'm sorry" is paho or nipaho, literally "(I) regret that."

(Important note: One should carefully contrast the previous with the imperative (vi)paho "I told you so" lit. "regret!", also used to express Schadenfreude in, for example, Poker: "read 'em and weep." Tone of voice and intonation would clearly be rather different between the sympathetic and shaming/bragging readings of paho!)

It's looking like there will be two more parts to this series, and I'll hopefully be back tomorrow with what to me is the most exciting: words/phrases/noises that indicate engagement in and attitude toward a discourse, and help a conversation to flow.